M & I went to the boys soccer game last night, and it was an eventful game. One of their fellow players lost their mom to COVID & their dad is sending them away to a boarding school out of state. He is not a typical player, but got some playing time as a last hurrah. It breaks my heart, and I wish I would have known it was his last game - I would have brought treats as a goodbye. I can't imagine how difficult the past few months have been for him.
We've played this school before in sports many times, and there are always some pretty egregious trash talkers on the field. One kid eventually got ejected from heckling the refs & other players. He got numerous warnings, but couldn't get it together. Nick was guarding him for part of the game, and after so much name calling & grabbing on Nick when the ref couldn't see, Nick took him to the ground. I have to admit, my sympathy was limited for the other player. The ref shook his head at Nick & looked away, because he knew what had happened. No foul called. Sam & Nick are very different people on the field, and Nick is a risk taker, but also plays with a lot of intensity, which coaches typically love. Sam is perhaps a better technical player, but less aggressive. Always an adventure with the boys.
We went out to eat afterward, as the boys wanted to try a new restaurant that was just a few blocks away. It was good, but the wait was quite long & we were all tired. At least we didn't have Monday's mishap. ;-)
It's very much the time of life where Sam is feeling the pressure of being in 10th grade. He's being asked to decide on his future career at school, which seems nuts. I understand the goal (align your class selection to your college interests, which could theoretically need to align with your career goals.) He's 15, and finds it all very stressful. He's been moody & struggling. We've encouraged him to pursue classes that he finds interesting, and let the rest go, but we haven't been super successful. Throw in a bit of sibling drama, and ...ah, the teenage years. Our school emphasizes how important junior year is for kids, which is accurate, but schools in our area are also incredibly competitive. One of our only "cons" for living in this area was knowing the boys would go to high school in such a competitive atmosphere. And, here we are. Right in the middle of it.
Aside from the above, what else am I up to today?
- Help both boys with their class selections for next year
- Meet a friend for an early hike
- Make a shopping list
- Costco (M)
- Produce stand
- Laundry
- Mail a return
- Finish Sam's birthday gifts
- Make taco meat & spaghetti sauce - enough for several meals & the freezer
- Clean the fridge
I wouldn't want to parent through another junior year of highschool. Three of the most stressful years of my life! I'm sure the trash talking kid has gotten encouragement from coach or parent to see how much he can get away with or else by highschool, it surely should have run it's course.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow! I feel for my daughter when my grandchildren become teenagers! Hopefully, I will be around to help. A good friend is coming to take me to lunch, then start my meal prep, part I. Tomorrow is laundry day for me.
ReplyDeleteI think it is terrible that kids that age have to worry about what they want to do for the rest of their lives. That is just too much pressure. Heck I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know with the cost of higher education wasting classes is really not an option, but I think this is having a bad effect on kids.
ReplyDeleteI often say to my daughter (with a teen)that a solid high school is actually more important then university. You can learn the ropes of life with the bumper guards and financial backing of solid parents. Junior year IS hell and your boy is young. Talk to him about a general set of coursework with emphasis instead of “end all, be all”- top of the class. Keep that balance.
ReplyDeleteJunior year was Physics, Art and Cross country for my son. A surprise for me. He is now a nuclear physicist- a direction no one in my family ever even thought about. -Janette
A nod of respect to Nick. Some kids HAVE to be taken down hard by the kids they're heckling and harassing.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember that specific pressure in sophomore year, we just felt the squeeze to always perform every year but the intensity levels were within a limited range and I am pretty sure that was a regional thing. I definitely worry about being in this area where it's historically always been many times more intense and what that'll do to the kids. I want them to want to achieve but also to live their last years of childhood and enjoy them rather than making it a soul crushing rush to age 18 when they have the rest of their lives to live, still. If we're lucky, there are so MANY more years to learn and strive beyond high school.
I don't know why we (as a society) emphasize figuring out the REST of your LIFE so much in these early formative years.