Sunday, February 17, 2013

Snowflakes & revelations

First up, the fun news. :-) My eBay sales have been going well, & I've had a few other snowflakes over the past week or so. I'm saving my snowflakes to fund a trip to Las Vegas for my sister's 40th birthday. Viva Las Vegas! :-)

That's my lovely sister, on the left, on the plane to Las Vegas last year.

Here's my earlier post on snowflake progress.

Since then, I've had quite a bit of success:
  • $10.15 - this was an Amazon book sale. I cancelled all of the rest of my sales due to the postage snafu, but it took quite a while for these funds to clear
  • $12 - reimbursement for a gift I purchased for my mom (I used a gift card)
  • $80 - birthday money :-)
  • $6.30 - Ebates check
  • $272.08 - from my first round of eBay sales.
As it currently stands, I have $432.48 towards my goal of $1,000. Almost half way there! And, I sold another $300 or so this week.

And, on a completely different topic, I had an unpleasant but necessary revelation over the weekend. We were celebrating my son's birthday & I had to come to terms with my parents. I love them, & they are wonderful people, but they are not the kind of grandparents I expected them to be. I think it's particularly hard because they were amazing when I was growing up. But . . . they are really uninvolved as grandparents, & it's just not what I was expecting. I expected them to grandparent similar to the way they parented, and it's not the case. Me continually wishing otherwise isn't going to change anything.

Coming to terms with this has been a long time coming, and rather than being continually disappointed and hurt, I need to lower my own expectations and be happy with what I have and they give.

Does that make any sense at all? Anyone else in a similar position?

On a fun note, I'm taking the boys skiing tomorrow (by myself!), since I have the day off. Mommy/boys ski day! Wish me luck. :-)
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6 comments:

  1. slugmamaFebruary 17, 2013 at 8:32 PM

    Re:Your parents as grands. You can't predict nor control how your parents will be as grands. Maybe how they see their role has alot to do with what was modeled by their own parents and grands? Maybe their idea of being a parent is very different from their idea of being a grand and since they were so hands on as parents, they see their role as grands as not so active and forward? You can't control how they wish to play their part. All you can do is let them know you want them in your kids' lives and give them open access. How ever they respond is what it will be, so be grateful for however much they take on. Sure, you may feel hurt with their choices but keep it between you and them. Never let your kids hear you talk badly about their grands as long as they are young(and can't understand the way of adult relationships)and as long as your parents DO take an active part in their grandkids' lives. I know it hurts but do what is best for your kids.

    Hubs parents were totally uninvolved in our kids' lives, though they lived an hour away. My mother lived 3 states away yet spent every chance she could being with our kids. You just never know who is going to BLOOM as a wonderful grandparent. 8-)

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    1. Hawaii PlannerFebruary 17, 2013 at 8:58 PM

      You're right - they set a very high bar as parents, & I think I just assumed (every so foolishly) that they would be the same as grandparents. In many ways, I'm happy that they have their own very active lives. It just makes me a little sad that they don't spend much time with the boys.

      All that said, I work hard to keep my feelings about it away from the boys, because I totally agree that they desreve to have a full relationship with their grandparents - who love them. A lot, but in their own limited way.

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  2. J CFebruary 17, 2013 at 10:18 PM

    The boys are still pretty young. Perhaps your parents will find they have more in common and spend more time as they get a little older and have more defined and speicfic interests they can share.

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  3. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2013 at 1:41 AM

    My parents had limitations 'parenting' so I wasn't expecting them to be good grandparents at all. My Dad is great and shows a great interest in his grandchildren (and me!), my mum is a whole different ball game - how she ended up with 4 children is beyond me, anyway I'm digressing. It must be hard for you, but I would try to just accept how they are and do your own thing :)

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  4. AodhnaitFebruary 18, 2013 at 4:43 AM

    I always remind myself that we can't change other people, we can only change ourselves.

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  5. ElizabethFebruary 18, 2013 at 7:50 AM

    I have 3 sets of Grandparents and eventually had to come to the conclusion that they all had different styles. Some we almost never saw growing up whereas one set calls every weekend for a quick chat. I concentrate on maximizing the relationships that others are willing to nurture.

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