Do you ever feel like a slacker?

Because, I'll confess, I often do. I think by external measures, most people would classify me as very efficient, but . . . there are many, many days that I feel lazy & like I have not accomplished a single thing.

It's very hard to break that thinking, & sometimes I try to dig a little deeper. This morning, as I was thinking about my pedicure over the weekend, I asked myself why I really wanted one. The answer? I think it was less about the pedicure itself, & more about the "reward", the "treating myself" by going somewhere (ALONE) for an entire hour, dedicated to me. And, wet toenails meant I couldn't go on my run for the day. . . The more I think about it, the more I realize that some days - I'm just exhausted & need a break. It's so hard for me to take the time to relax without feeling guilty, like I really should be accomplishing something. But, taking time for myself is an accomplishment, after all.

I worked out four times last week, which is two workouts less than I prefer to get. I had a pathetic running week (clocking all of two miles), and it sort of haunted me that I was falling behind on my goals. Rather than asking myself why I didn't feel like running (the answer is - I was exhausted from skiing & my race on Saturday), I kind of beat myself up over it. Beating yourself up, for the record, is not a very motivating technique. :-)

I skied super hard on Sunday (my kids are getting good, & I can tell that I'm going to be putting in a ton of effort to keep up), but still managed a work out yesterday. . . because I wanted one, & it felt good. Not as though it was an obligation.

I'm trying to find the balance, because I have a new job that's very demanding, M is traveling a ton, & it can be overwhelming. I'd like to be super woman, but some days it's just not possible. So, I'll settle for myself, and giving myself a break when I start to reach that exhausted stage. Because, that's clearly my body & mind's way of telling me to put the brakes on for a few hours & relax.

Do you ever struggle with these feelings of "not enough"? That you're not quite capable of tackling everything on your plate, or that you're not being "efficient" enough? How do you handle it? Do you build in self rewards?

This is the least glamorous picture that exists of me, but reminder that hard work & motivation pays off. Completing a task way outside of what I thought was possible. On the flip side, lots of "rest" days went into making this day happen. Lots of regular, take a step forward, take care of myself days were needed before I was ready for the challenge. And, that's sort of the rub, I guess. If you're not regularly taking breaks & taking care of yourself, you're never know what you're capable of.