After telling M that I was totally uninspired by another week of cooking without a kitchen, he came home with some quick & easy Costco options. We had the first one last night, and it was great. He bought fresh ground tri-tip patties, that were already seasoned & good to go on the grill. We combined that with a foil pack of sliced onions, jalapenos (garden), butter & garlic salt. Sliced cheese & the yummy brioche buns from Costco.
We have a few other easy dinner options on the menu for the week, which is fantastic. We need to get organized & start planning for school next week. Can't believe it's already here.
I also got a request for fence photos. Here you go! As I mentioned in the comments yesterday, we did discuss style, board layout, color & wood, & the neighbor originally said that as long as she didn't have to pay, and there was a replacement fence, she was fine with whatever we selected. I can understand that the fences look different, but the way it was handled was not great. She also told us that she thinks it looks like a barn. :-)
C'est la vie. We'll see if she wants us to put the old fence up on her side, which is an option. I'll be unexcited to pay the contractors to complete that work, but would rather have a positive relationship with the neighbor than more drama. As you might be able to see, the fence was leaning & some of the boards were rotted in the original fence, which was 20+ years old. The fence on the right (first picture) is actually much worse, but requires us to build a significant retaining wall with other neighbors, so that's a project that requires quite a bit of coordination with the lovely neighbors behind us. (Retaining wall & fence need to be built on their side, due to sloping.)
If I had my druthers, which I don't, I might prefer the style of the first fence. But, the second is fine. I cannot see the barn, though. I think maybe a little cognitive problem is at work. I wonder if she is sitting over on the other side, wishing she had not said anything. When you put up a second fence right near yours, there is no way to keep down weeds, vines, and small trees. It will be a mess. Ask me how i know! The extra vegetation on your fence will rot it sooner. Plus, any vegetation will eventually be soil that builds up and holds more plant life. I fought this for 30 years, and eventually my yard was like a bowl and boggy. Maybe you can give her some of the money you were going to pay to have her rotten fence replace and have her sign a contract to that effect--that she accepts the fence and money.
ReplyDeletePoint out to her that when her fence rots, it will be her problem to fix or tear it down. She may come up with the idea you put it back up and need to take care of it forever.
DeleteI haven't commented in the past, but really wanted to support you in this fence saga. You are incredibly understanding of the situation with your neighbor. Given the treatment of your son and husband, I would be hard pressed to be so nice. The offer to reinstall the old fence on her side is generous. Your new fence looks great! I hope you are rewarded with good karma for your graciousness.
ReplyDeleteAnn
Thank you! My husband has moved on, & reminded me this isn't even in the top 10 of things people do that remind him he's not from the US. Which makes me feel worse, I suppose.
DeleteI'm still struggling with being nice & friendly, & hope time will ease that. (I'm not being unfriendly, just avoiding.)
I like the new fence. It brightens up the space. And yay for easy dinner options. I am also in a rut when it comes to meals. Hope you have a good week!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWhenever we go to Costco, dinner is rotisserie chicken and country French bread. Costco just wears me out, and I can't even consider cooking.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived in the southwest, and had a pool, our privacy fence looked exactly like your first one. I like the second one, but, I'm not going to lie--it does look a bit like the trendy barn decor that's so prevalent now. But I still don't like your neighbor...
Best wishes for a peaceful week.
Costco's rotisserie chicken is fabulous.
DeleteThe side layout of fences are probably the biggest style right now where we live. I don't get the barn decor (or, what I envision as a barn, perhaps), but to each their own! :-)
The new fence is beautiful, and no rational person would prefer the leaning less than stellar old fence. After seeing the before and after I truly do think she is losing cognitive abilities. She might be in the beginning or possibly even mid stages of dementia. My sister and I have talked about all the "signs" of it we missed but see clearly now that we are looking backward.
ReplyDeleteLike I mention in the previous post, any change or difference does not sit well with a compromised memory because consistency acts as a mental "set" point.
Mom said some pretty rotten things to my sister and me early on and it was not until we realized how impaired her thinking was that we could let it roll off our backs.
I hope you can talk with your sons not only about bigotry, but also about issues with aging.
Also you and your husband have provided them with the wonderful lesson that taking the high road when there is discord is the best thing to do. Kudos!
I appreciate that. We have had a few good chats with the kids & we have all agreed that my husband handled it exceptionally well, and the end result is positive. We've also shared perspective on how to navigate bigotry, and how to avoid making assumptions about people, based on their cultural background.
DeleteAlways so many learnings. So sorry to hear that your mom said hard things to you & your sister. I'm sure it was so challenging, even if you understood intellectually that it wasn't really her.
I love the new fence.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI love the new fence.
ReplyDeleteI love the new fencing. It looks very on trend for the bay area.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about the neighbor, it is never fun to have tense relations with the people we love closely to. It doesn't appear it could have been helped, and I hope you will be able to let go of feeling that either of you were to blame. The issue with your son being verbally attacked, however? That one I would struggle to get past, no question.
It's very much the trend here. :-)
DeleteI'm trying to remind myself that demonstrating forgiveness & leading by example is helpful to the kids. That said, I'm in avoidance phase right now (we don't regularly see each other anyway, so this isn't a special step on my part.) I need more time to be back to neighborly & friendly.
Oh, that was so nice of M to bring home some Costco options for you all. The new fence looks so good! That is so nice of you to offer to put the old one up for your neighbor. Anything to keep the peace is my motto.
ReplyDeleteIt was awesome to have a break to feel like I can easily make something this week.
DeleteI'm with you, I'd rather have a peaceful relationship than stir up drama!
I love the new fence! And I grew up working in barns, that's nothing like a barn style. Harumph.
ReplyDeleteYou're a better person than I, I'd just avoid her forever if I could after that. But we have had some really terrible experiences with older neighbors who, once their back was up, never ever let go of their issues and would constantly attack us to the point that we had to get a restraining order. So I just prefer to avoid people entirely until and unless I get some signs they're not going to be the source of new harassment.