Monday, November 14, 2016

All done with blogging

I make no money on this blog. I keep it because I enjoy tracking my finances & goals & love connecting with other people & learning from everyone. I have enjoyed the learning from this financial community SO much.

But, I'm done dealing with people who will spew hate. What kind of coward does that when I have a post up about my kids? I can't keep up with the comment deleting, and I'm done trying.


62 comments:

  1. I am so sorry and will miss reading about your successes and your life, but I understand your frustrations. I just don't know what gets into people and why anyone would post negatives on someone else's blog. Life is way to short to be ugly to each other.

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    1. Thank you so much. I may come back with a new focus, lots of comment moderation, and of course . . . no pictures of the kids or my family. It's sad, but people are just truly ugly.

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  2. Oh my god, that is completely crap. Sharing pieces of our lives, meeting new people, people that dare I say, may make different choices, is supposed to be fun and encouraging. I hope you feel like dropping in and commenting on mine and other kindred spirits, as I will miss you, but certainly understand. You take care first and foremost of your self and your lovely family. All the best, and you keep being true to your self.

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    1. I really appreciated your comments & support. I too love the diverse perspectives, and the opportunity to hear from others. I'm always amazed at how creative others are, and feel like stepping outside of my own life is part of what makes me learn, stretch & grow.

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  3. There are some revolting people in the world and I'm so sorry that you had to come across them. I personally hope you have a break and come back in whatever capacity you like at some point. But, if you are definitely done then thank you for sharing your story with us, and I wish you and your lovely family all the best. I feel like you are such a success in personal finance congratulations on your journey so far.

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    1. Thank you. Much appreciated. I may be back, with some changes.

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  4. So sorry this has happened. I have enjoyed the way you shared your family's adventures and will miss you but I understand. I admire your family values and the way you juggle so much so successfully. I wish you well.
    Susan

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  5. I've read your blog for years, but have never commented. Where your kids are concerned, all bets are+ off (so to speak) and you should definitely do what you feel is best.

    As a non-American I've been saddened to see how the election has divided your country. Trolls have existed since the Internet was created but this election just amplified everything. Some trolls stayed anonymous while other people felt so sure about "their side" they had no problem loudly proclaiming everything, pitting friends against friends, family members against each other.

    Yours is one of the few blogs where I learn valuable things (quite a few others are just an outlet for people to vent). If you leave blogging you will be missed however as I said, children raise the stakes in everything. Do what you feel is best for you and your family and your sincere readers will support whatever decision you make.

    I'm sorry that you had this bad experience.

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    1. You hit the nail on the head. I've had one person troll repeatedly about our "wealth" and "poor decision making" and other foolish things. It's annoying, but not a huge deal. Talking about my children is quite another.

      I may be back with some changes. Thanks for sharing - it's been a huge week of adjustments for everyone, and I hope we can all work on our kindness to each other. That's obviously in short supply these days. :-(

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  6. I am sorry to hear you are ending your blog. I just found your blog a few months ago but have enjoyed it so much. You provide a different perspective to the financial blog world and it has taught me to think about ways that I too can be more frugal/mindful in my spending. Plus I am biased since I am from Tacoma, WA and have enjoyed reading about your thoughts/struggles about deciding if you want to stay in CA or move back to the wonderful PCNW. You are a wonderful mother and wife and I am so disappointed that there are people out in the world that carry so much hate in their hearts. I wish you well and hope that maybe you just need to take a break from blogging for a while and come back and share how things are going and what big decisions you have made in regards to your job and moving. Take care and please know that is so much more love in the world what is being shown during this rough time.

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    1. Ahhh, I went to college in Tacoma! Hello, fellow Tacoma friend. :-) I really appreciate the note. I'm hopeful to be back after a break, and with some changes. If I can recreate this space as something positive & useful and reduce the opportunities to have to engage with hateful idiots, then I'll be back. :-)

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  7. I have read your blog for the last few years. I always enjoyed reading about your financial goals and topics you posted. Living in Southern California, I could also relate to your posts about the high home prices and moving back to Seattle.

    I am sorry that trolls feel the need to use their poison pen to bash people. I felt that your posts over the last week and the last months of the election were on point. You always seemed like a calm though passionate voice. Please know that there are many people who feel like you do. This election has brought out the worse in so many people. I am sorry you had to experience this especially regarding your kids.

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    1. Thanks so much. I really appreciate your feedback. It's been rough. I'm going to focus on kindness, but I'm also much more aware of how I need to reduce friction points (in my mind, that means less of interacting with people who are hateful). I want to balance that with getting fresh perspectives, and stepping outside my comfort zone, but the awful things that have happened recently remind me that I need to put up some more barriers and focus on kindness.

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  8. I don't know what happened but am sorry to hear this. I enjoy your blog very much and admire all you do, especially given your illness. I wish your family a nice trip to Hawaii and hope you come back to your blog as I would really like to know what you decide to do regarding your job and living situation :-)
    Do not let Internet trolls or real life assholes get to you, this is a trying time for decent people. I hope the aftermath of the US election is not as bad as we fear, such disappointment after the Brexit earlier this year is hard to accept. Good luck to you and your family, will be thinking of you. Eva

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    1. Thanks, Eva. I really appreciate it. Hopefully I'll be back, with some boundaries. Hawaii should be bliss. So very needed.

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  9. I have really enjoyed reading your blog even though I never comment. I am sorry to see people being hateful towards your kids and you. I am so tired of seeing our country be the way it has been since the elections it is ridiculous and needs to stop now..it makes me sad and worried for what it is to come.

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  10. I am so sorry to read this, and why you feel you need stop writing, but I completely understand. Family comes first. I'm not a frequent commenter, but your blog has always been one of my favorite reads, so it will be missed.

    Take care of yourself and your beautiful family. Have a wonderful time in Hawai'i this time and in the future. Enjoy your life whichever direction you go. And if you feel like it, you can come back.

    If you ever make it to Kaua'i, I hope we can meet up. Thinking only good thoughts for all of you.

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    1. I'm hoping to put up better guardrails (comments, etc), because I find blogging to be a great experience 99% of the time. I love your blog & will continue to read either way. Would love to meet up, and we will definitely make it to Kaua'i one day.

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    2. Will send you an email with my contact information so we can stay in touch.

      P.S. I use Wordpress, and there are no anonymous comments, ever. There's automatic monitoring as well. Everyone who comments leaves an email and IP address. I rarely, if ever, get negative comments.

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  11. Oh, no! This is so sad. I can't believe people. I can NOT believe people! I'm trying to think of something to say and I can't even :(

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    1. Thanks so much. Your email meant a lot. Hugs.

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  12. Sad to say that politics and religion bring out the worst in some people. This election cycle has been particularly nasty so I don't blame you for wanting to pack it in.

    I am an old hand at deleting nasty comments at this point in my blogging life(I get them on a regular basis)and am sorry to hear you are now also the recipient of those bottom feeder type of trolls too.
    It will pass so I hope you return some day to share your journey with those of us who value your story. My journey is not yours but we need more voices like yours. That's what makes the blogging community as well as this country(heck this world)a better place.

    Take care and do what makes your world better. Hugs from Sluggy.

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    1. You are much tougher than I am. I was so sad to read your last post with those absolutely hateful comments. You are doing an amazing job, and I love the perspective you share. I don't always agree, but that's the beauty of it. I don't have to agree to respect you. How boring would the world be if we were all identical.

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  13. I am really sorry to hear this - I found your blog recently and have really enjoyed your posts and learned from them as well. I even went all the way back to the beginning and worked my way through your posts.

    I hope that after taking a break you come back to blogging. Blogs like yours add something very positive to the world.

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    1. Thank you. I really appreciate the kind note. I may put some parameters in place on the commenting side (and, no pictures of my kids, of course) & come back.

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  14. People seem to think because no one knows who they are they can say any thing they want. That was an adorable picture of your son and there are some sick people out there. I believe the election just brought out the worse in those who are hate filled to begin with. Listening to the nightly news makes me Want to cry. Cheryl

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    1. I totally agree. Still trying to find that right balance for myself of staying informed & not creating a bubble, while reducing stress. Appreciate your comment.

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  15. I'm sorry to hear you're leaving us, but I understand your reasons (although I don't like the reasons behind THOSE). People are so brave and hateful at keyboards. I didn't comment on your blog much, was a true lurker, but you always had something positive and interesting and fun to say. You will be missed and I echo others when I say that I hope you will be back sometime. Take care of yourself and your family xx

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    1. Thanks, NLA. I really appreciate it. I don't understand why people look for opportunities to hurt each other. Respectful disagreement is completely acceptable (and necessary), but hatred has no place here.

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  16. I have always been a lurker but you have a wonderful voice that I enjoy. It stresses me terribly how you were treated. Hope to see you again - you are much loved.

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    1. Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your comment. Made me get all teary. :)

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  17. Oh no!!! I'm so sorry. Even though we haven't met in person, I feel we are friends. Plus we live near each other so we're Northern Ca gals. I don't understand why the meanness. especially , if it was directed toward you sons. ...I hope you guys have a great trip to Hawaii next week and have time to relax.

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    1. We are friends, fellow NorCal girl. :-) I am sending you nothing but healthy & happy thoughts. I respect & admire your tenacity so much. Big hugs to you.

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  18. I am sorry, but I completely understand. I didn't comment much, but yours is always one of the first blogs that I read each day. I hope that given time you will reevaluate and come back to update every once in a while. *Hugs*

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    1. Thanks, Rachel. I'm hopeful that I can get rid of some of the noise/trolls. I love the community most of the time

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  19. Sorry to see you go, I look for your blog every day, love your great attitude toward life. i also am a lurker but throughly enjoy your blog, but your family is much more important than a blog. i am sorry people were unkind.

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  20. I missed what happened (which is probably a good thing from the sound of it), but I'm sorry to see you go. I want to see your story unfold and selfishly hope you will change your mind. :( You are one of the few people to comment on my blog and I always appreciate your positive tone.

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    1. There are a lot of crazies out there, unfortunately. Hopefully we can all unite together to create safe spaces for each other, because it's important to have outlets, and hear from each other. I love getting to hear about how others prioritize their time, money & lives.

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  21. I am so very sorry you have to put up with this crap. Hugs to you and your family. I do understand why you are shutting it down though. I had the same thoughts and am not dealing with the same kind of situation. A truly (insert expletive here) time in the world

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    1. Thank you! Reading your blog is always enjoyable, and I will absolutely keep reading. It's a terrible time right now, but I'm hoping this too will pass & we can all move forward in a better way.

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  22. I'm so sad to see you go - reading your posts is definitely a highlight. You constantly challenge me to be more resourceful and menu plan more reliably. I really, really respect that your family has a high income, but does not flaunt it. You spend your money on the things that are truly a priority and don't deviate from that path. Props to you and all the best.

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    1. Thanks, Walnut. I really appreciate that. I actually debated all of that when I first started blogging. I realized that I was in a different situation than others, and wasn't sure if my story would add much value. I've learned SO much from other readers & bloggers. We don't all have to be in the same position to encourage each other & learn.

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  23. Another lurker here. I very much enjoyed your blog. So sorry that people can be so hurtful.

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  24. It's very sad that somebody would attack your kids. I will miss you blogging.

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    1. People are crazy, & a big mystery as to why they feel empowered to attack kids. Thank you - I appreciate it.

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  25. I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family were attacked this way. I just (just!) started reading your blog, and you seem like a lovely and reasonable person. I wish you all the best.

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    1. Thanks so much. I may try to make some modifications (commenting, blocking, no pictures) & see if that works to control the fools out there.

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  26. I am writing this out of both a selfish need (I love your blog posts) and out of righteous indignation. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP BLOGGING!!! You give your power away when you let the trolls win. Hitting delete is not strenuous and once you see them go south in their writing don't finish reading, just delete.

    TAKE YOUR POWER BACK!

    That being said, I love your blog! You and your family are amazing and the internets will be a bit emptier without you. I wish you the best, and hope we will eventually hear back from you on all of your work/life/housing/kids plans and adventures.

    Yours -DeeCee

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment. It really made me think about my next steps. Still mulling them over, but thanks for reaching out. You are correct - it's hard to let the terrible actions of others impact your life.

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  27. First - do what is best for you - that is the most important thing. But I will miss your blog and seeing how life continues to evolve for you and your family. Best of luck though! So sorry though that it happened- I don't understand it.

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    1. Thanks so much. It's been a crazy time for sure. People have really come out of the woodwork.

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  28. I a sorry to hear this....regardless of what side of the fence a person fell on there is no excuse for poor behavior. Take care and good luck with the job (or lack of), the move and your health.

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    1. Thank you. And, you are correct. There's room for respectful disagreement & dialogue, but hate has no place.

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  29. Hi HP, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope a time comes when you will feel safe and come back.

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    1. Thanks so much. I appreciate that. There have been great suggestions about comment moderation & blocking, so I may try that as well.

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  30. Moderate all posts! Or, find out from their ip who they are and block them. Or, do as I do when a follower harassed me for years, delete her from followers and don't let her voice be heard. Worked for me.
    pparsimony

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    1. You are the voice of reason. :-) I may give that a try, and suspect that you & I are on the same page with this one.

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  31. I have no words for such hateful people. I've been lurking on your blog for several months and you've helped to motivate me to better financial outlooks! I love your blog and reading about everything and I am SO Sorry that some douche canoes can't just keep their ever loving mouth shut and move on. Such crap. And on a post about your kids is 100000000% unacceptable although already unacceptable enough, doing it on a kids post makes it that much worse. I hope you reconsider your stance because I will miss reading also! xoxoxo

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