Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Letting Go

Carla at My 1/2 Dozen Daily had a great post today that really got me thinking about my own life. Given that I have a financial blog, it feels so strange to even write this, but here goes!

M & I are considering a major life change. Actually, to be fair, I'm driving the change, and M is fully supportive & in agreement with pursuing it.

I've worked for the same large technology company for 15 years - my entire professional career. I have had a variety of experiences, learned a ton, & worked for some fantastic people. But now? I'm bored. Maxed out. I've reached the top of my career growth within my current job function, which means I need to take a long hard look at my career, & figure out what I want to do for the next 15 years. I didn't intend to work for a tech company. In fact, I'm not even very passionate about it. What I was passionate about? Job security & making a financial living. So I've stayed. And put in long hard years, because when your job is not enjoyable (and at times, miserable), that money is hard earned.

Like many of you, I grew up placing a huge value on financial security. Huge. I feel like we've achieved that, yet I still keep slogging away, afraid to leave the company & make a change. Virtually any other job I'm considering will mean a 50% pay cut. But, that freedom of doing something I would enjoy, with a schedule more conducive to my family? It's hard to put a price on that. I've spent the last few years clutching to the security of my job, rather than making decisions that would put me on a path to something more fulfilling. . . because I've been afraid to leave & start over, financially & otherwise. It's incredibly hard to leave the money. I know this makes me sound like a souless, money grubbing person, but that's the reality.

My family leaves near Portland (we're in Seattle), & one of the options we're considering is moving to Portland. It would be amazing to have a support system with the kids when M is traveling, or we just need help. I'm very close to my family & would love to see them regularly. We also have our vacation house on the Oregon coast. People ask me why we bought it & why we've made other financial sacrifices to keep it. I can finally answer this (because, I finally figured it out for myself :-)) - when we're on the coast, at this small beach town? I feel like I'm giving our kids a tiny portion of the life I had growing up. Small, safe town. Beautiful location. Playing in the streets. Riding to get an ice cream cone. All of the things we don't currently have. So, we drive 4 hours back & forth on weekends to experience just a bit of it, whenever we can. If we lived in Portland, the drive would be under two hours. And that would be amazing for us.

Where does this leave me? As a complete type A, over the top, anal planer, the logistics of even contemplating this major life overhaul is keeping me from sleeping at night. I know that this move & job switch would be life changing & fabulous for us, but it's hard. Do we put our house on the market first? Look for a job first? M can do his current job from Portland, so I'll be the only one job searching.

Ahhh, it feels good just to get this out there. Has anyone else made a major life change or move like this? Advice or guidance?

1 comment:

  1. It sounds so exciting to me!! It could be a wonderful opportunity for your family! You cannot put happiness over a "fatter" bank account. I pray you find peace with your decision and i'm excited to hear more about the direction you take! :)