First up, we finished our half marathon! It was a super rainy & cold day, but we did it. My mom absolutely crushed it, and placed very high in her age group. She's amazing. I felt great until mile 11, and then felt...less great! :-) We had such a lovely time together, and it was really nice to spend time with my family, coming off the news of the layoff. We moved to a "fancy" hotel (booked with points) on Sunday & Monday & it was gorgeous. Our room faced a winery, & looked like something in a movie. So lovely & relaxing.
It sucked to end a long career without a chance to have a proper goodbye, particularly given I managed a very global & remote team, & I hired the entire team myself. I've known multiple folks for more than ten years. I'm also frustrated & disappointed by how some of the process is being managed, but I assume that's standard. There's no "good" way to handle layoffs.
I'm trying to give myself space to process all of these feelings. I've also had so very many lovely colleagues reach out to wish me well, thank me for our time together, share fun memories, offer to extend their network, etc. I've worked with a really awesome group of folks & feel so lucky about that.
I'm trying to focus on some daily activities, to give structure to my now completely unstructured days. Here's what I've come up with so far:
- Journal
- Farsi lesson
- Meditate
- Work out
I have a ton of house projects, yard clean up, financial stuff, projects to help my aunt, and other life "back log" items to catch up on, so I'll also be weaving those in on a daily basis, and choosing a few things from the longer list.
As for today, it's been a reasonably productive day. So far, I've:
- Gone to a gym class
- Meditated
- Taken my Farsi lesson
- Journaled
- Stopped by the bank
- Picked up a few things at the grocery store. Then, discovered the meat I bought was rotten, so went back & got a refund.
- Attempted to book my parents travel for Sam's graduation. Couldn't use their discount code. Called Alaska & got that all sorted & travel is now booked.
- Dealt with another bill for special needs aunt.
- Canceled two credit cards that aren't doing much for us. One has a yearly fee, so that will save a bit.
- Cleaned the house
- Did two loads of laundry
I'm actually making dinner mid-week! This is a new development for us, as we are typically very busy, and we just do leftovers during the week. I never got to the peanut noodles with chicken recipe, so I'll be making that tonight.
Hope you are all having a great week! Also, blogger doesn't want to let me post comments on other blogs, so I need to get that fixed, but apologies in advance.
Hugs! You need to give yourself time to grieve.
ReplyDeleteVirtual hugs across the country. Cindy in the South
ReplyDeleteEven though I left my position at the school on my own initiative I still had trouble missing everyone, especially the students. It takes a very long time to get over what you went through. Making a list of things to do is a wonderful way of handling things. It gives structure to your days.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Layoffs suck. Ask me how I know. You are a super-achiever and the extra time in your schedule is going to feel weird for a while. But you are resilient and resourceful and good things will come your way. Give yourself some time to just be. As in we are human beings, not human doings. You've got this.
ReplyDeleteI know you will figure what your next step is.Your day looked pretty dang productive to me.
ReplyDeleteThe way layoffs happen is another blow to unplanned upheaval. I'm glad people that you worked with reached out. Life curve balls need time to process, so I understand sitting with your feelings. Take care of yourself first. You deserve that.
ReplyDeleteI know how tough it is to figure out who you are when your job is over. I'm still trying to figure it out most days, much like Jackie said above. It's great that you do have some things lined up to fill your days. It sounds like you were an extremely valuable part of your company, and I'm just so sorry this happened. Praying for better days ahead for you!
ReplyDeleteThe company's loss for sure!
ReplyDeleteAgreed, Kathy.
DeleteOh, sweetie that is tough. But you will bounce back, I know you will. Take this time to really enjoy the downtime. Something you have not had in so long. Don't beat yourself up. You are the bomb remember that! When our daughter Signe' came home after Joel died, she lay down on his side of the bed and stared at the ceiling and said, " I am having feelings, and you know how I feel about feelings." We all had a good laugh.
ReplyDeleteYou are entitled to ALL your feelings, whichever direction they may go. I would imagine your initial reaction was shock, as would be mine. And you will likely go through the remaining stages of mourning to some degree as this was a death of something in your life in its own way, even if not in the literal sense.
ReplyDeleteI know you have been back and forth on whether to go or remain in your job for a long time, so I hope this current situation ends up opening a door to something that provides you with even more joy and fulfillment.
Hugs from. S. California. Tamara